INDIE TEENS IN "HAVING NO SENSE OF HUMOR" SHOCKER aka animal coLOLctive: what happened?

How do you get your blog 12,000 hits, a cease-and-desist order and a mention in Baltimore City Paper? Answer: post a stupid rickroll. In my case, I put up a link (that I thought would successfully fool one, maybe two of my friends) which ended up turning the ol' Animal Collection on its collective [;)] ear. Oops! So here's a blow-by-blow account of what happened.


DECEMBER 5TH

A pal of mine concocts an 11-song rickroll, strangely very close in length to the soon-to-be-released, aspie-anticipated Animal Collective album Merriweather Post Pavilion. He uploads it and posts a link on ILXOR.com reading "this will probably get my friend at Domino fired.... but Merry Xmas ILM!!!!" All the corny indies on ILX download it (and being sports, they go along with the prank until everyone else on ILX is also fooled, posting things like "Somehow this seems even more 'experimental' than something like Here Comes The Indian, yet definitely rooted in pop...wow." It takes moxie to be that cool after downloading "Never Gonna Give You Up" eleven times and expecting it to be some bullshit album you're incredibly excited to hear. But, you know, some people have moxie).

Anyway: all I do is upload my friend's ingenious roll to this blog on December 5th and forget all about it (my exact thought: "Probably only Nick will even read this, but maybe I can get Bain to fall for it, too." An hour later, I receive an ominous a text reading "Do you realize what you've done?!" Turns out Celebrator is the top GoogleBlog result for "animal collective leak" and has seen 600 unique hits within the hour (and on a Friday night). O_O

When I log into my account, I find that the "comments pending" box is filled with messages showcasing some seriously murky bile (Sadly, I deleted this initial flow of negative comments and allowed only the positive, prank-enabling ones through. Later, I began saving the negative comments to be posted after the initial hooplah died down). The Animal Collection then follows me to my personal email address, which is soon filled with similarly butthurt messages and spam (admittedly, they did sign me up for one reasonably hilarious item: a Menopause Digest). One outraged fan sends an epic indictment calling down a plague of frogs on my dwelling, and another expresses a desire to see my entire family in receipt of cancerous tumors on Christmas Day as a result of my rickrolling escapades. One little scholar expresses a hope that I am "rapped by a gay slob." I realize (for the first time that week) that Animal Collective fans are mostly retarded idiots (my favorite of these idiots, for sentimental reasons, comes to be Michael Chornomaz, pictured above in email form).


DECEMBER 6TH - ENTER THE WEB SHERIFF

Things continue like this^ for a day, and my blog hits steadily rise. Sitemeter informs me that people are linking to the blog from all over the world and that tons of forums and other blogs are all perpetuating the joke.

I receive a stupid email from someone rather delusionally referring to himself as "The Web Sheriff" and claiming to be sent by Domino Records, imploring me to remove my "links." I neither reply nor remove the (single) link. Email herewith (premier idiocy in bold):

Hi ‘EmilySue’,

(We hope you’re well and, on behalf of Domino Records and Animal Collective, we would kindly ask you not to post supposed links to copies of "Merriweather Post Pavillion" on your blog (or any tracks from the artist’s new album – street date 20th January). We do appreciate that you are a fan of / are promoting Animal Collective, but the label and artist would greatly appreciate your co-operation in removing your links to the files in question which are now dead in any event). Thank you for respecting the artist's and label’s wishes … .. and, for info on “Merriweather Post Pavillion” and the band’s 2008/09 shows, check-out www.myspace.com/animalcollectivetheband and www.myanimalhome.net … .. you can also view Animal Collective videos at www.youtube.com/dominorecords and, for details of preview material and pre-release promotions, keep an eye on these official sources. As you will appreciate, this e-mail is written on a without prejudice basis and, as such, all of our clients' accumulated, worldwide rights and remedies remain strictly reserved : please excuse this required formality.

With Thanks & Regards,

WEB SHERIFF

Simultaneously, the Animal Collectors begin attempting to hardman FreakyTrigger into firing me (I have never written for Freaky Trigger, and to my knowledge they don't pay) and harrassing a blog I posted on years ago (that has been abandoned for 3 years).

DECEMBER 7TH

I receive my favorite of all hatemails: "I hope for your slow death. Your family can have cancer now. Remove the link you stupid assfuck." This is soon followed by (from the same genius): "By now you should have died, your family as well. Fuck off for that link. Wish you die later this day."


Later, Laurence Bell or someone claiming to be him begins commenting on the blog itself, demanding like a spoiled Baby Huey that I remove the "links," and his comments are c+ped to my personal email from laurencebell@dominorecordco.us. He gives me a deadline of 5:00pm to remove the supposed "links." "Laurencebell@dominorecordco.us" emails me a notice that he is filing a cease and desist order, and I laugh heartily, realizing that if he ever downloads the fucking link to see what it really is, Rick Astley could potentially sue him. Anyway, knowing Bell has no legal leg to stand on, I leave the "links" up and tell Laurence that he is simply forcing me to behave more and more like the Joker as portrayed by Heath Ledger in 2008's critically acclaimed "The Dark Knight."

[SIDENOTES TO LAURENCE:
1. WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE BOSS OF "SUPPOSED LINKS"? ELLIOTT SMITH?!
2. THE ONLY PEOPLE BOTHERED BY THIS PRANK WERE PEOPLE WHO ATTEMPTED TO STEAL YOUR SHIT. YOU'RE WELCOME, DUDE.
3. WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT THE STATE OF THE RECORD INDUSTRY THAT THE PRESIDENT OF A RECORD COMPANY IS SITTING AROUND COMMENTING ON BLOGS ALL DAY]

Oh, and I received a string of prank calls from a handful of especially cheeky Animal Pals on this evening. I was confused about this for a long time, but I realized much later that I had been an idiot and left my (phone-number-inclusive) signature in an email reponse to a hater.



AND LATER

On December 15th, ILX, Celebrator and this charming rickroll were written about in a Baltimore City Paper article with the awesome title "Animal Collective Fans Open Wide, Swallow A Rickroll." As late as December 26th, people were still unwittingly downloading Rick Astley from here, and I am still, in 2009, receiving the occasional hatemail from your average perverse indie child.

To the fans of Animal Collective, I have only this to say: Goodbye, and thanks for all the memories. Getting pissed off that your illegal download of your favorite band's album (that they don't want you to hear yet) was thwarted by a prank is one thing...getting death threat pissed off about it is another thing...and both are fucking retarded things, but I'd still like to thank you all for making Celebrator a marshmallow wonderland of lols (and my AdSense account that much more successful). Maybe someday you can check out some music that will make you less angry. In fact, I have a recommendation right here.
LYLAS and have an unfuckwithable 2009,
roxymuzak

Recommended reading:
ILM thread basically liveblogging the rickrolling developments
Laurence Bell of Domino Records FAQ
I just got RickRolled in the WORST WAY!!!!
And, of course, the comments section of the original blog.

****************UPDATE: 2/25/09
Michael Chornomaz wrote a very sweet apology to me. He seems like a nice kid who somehow got mixed up in a rabid Animal Collective frenzy, and I totally forgive him for using the power of the webernet to call me a "fucking asshole." If you are a potential employer of Michael Chornomaz who happened onto this blog by accident, you got a keeper in this kid, I think.

Little Taylor Saporito of "cock-gobbling bitch" (relative) fame, however, appears to be one entitled little douchebomb who can't GTFOver himself. He mailed me several lengthy tomes, each requesting that I remove his name from this blog and indicting me for "making it personal." Sorry T, but you made your dormroom IKEA bed, and I'd thank you to now lie in it (in a paisley bowtie).

Love y'all.
Rox